We know the feeling all too well—fresh from a breakup, you log in Facebook and see a green dot next to the dreaded name of your ex. Before you know it, you’ve already logged off or gone on invisible mode. Maybe you can’t help yourself and even chat up the person who has recently broken your heart, breaking all promises you have made for yourself.
Let’s face it, breakups are never easy. And the fact that we’re on our smartphones 24/7 make them even trickier to navigate. Having said this, what is the smartest way to get over someone in the digital age?
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Fresh from a break up, 23-year-old PR practitioner Cat shares that blocking her ex from all forms of social media was one thing that is definitely helping her move on. “When I’m done with someone, it helps not to see them all over your feed,” she says, adding that seeing photos of or updates from them would only slow down the process of getting over someone. Surprisingly, many people I’ve talked to in their 20s share the same sentiment, with some of them using the block tool permanently and others to temporarily distance themselves while the pain is still there. “I won’t know what he’s up to and vice versa. Also, when you’ve still vulnerable, you might be tempted to say something you will only regret,” Cat adds.
(Not So) Happy Together
The topic above brings us to another question: should you erase photos of the good times you’ve had together online? While you may clearly be single now, a deeper look into your account may show you the happiest moments you’ve had with your ex-partner. For 24-year-old banker Josh, tagged photos on Facebook are fine. “I would most likely delete sweet photos of the two of us on Instagram after some time, but not right away. I mean, when you’re over the person and looking for a potential partner, who wants to show off photos of their ex?” he says. Cat agrees with him, adding, “Facebook photos tagged by other people confirm that you’ve had a history together. But seeing photos of the two of you that you’ve made yourself with the cheesy captions and everything is another thing.”
Think Before You Type
Being careful with your status updates is another thing to consider when getting over someone. We all might have been guilty of re-posting a sentimental quote here and there, but to endlessly rant about your ex (whether it be in the form of a long Facebook post or a series of Tweets)? That move might just be downright tacky. “It never looks good to share too much online,” Josh says, adding, “It would be much better to talk to a trusted friend about your frustrations instead.” As someone who has seen her fair share of post-breakup status updates, I had to agree with him. There are healthier outlets for your heartache rather than reaching out for your phone and typing your soul out. As the late Carrie Fisher had once famously said, “Take your broken heart and turn it into art.” And while we all might have done it in the past out of being naïve, majority of us would agree that a scathing remark in 140 characters or less could barely be considered a work of art.
Getting carried away with social media is too easy, especially when you’re feeling vulnerable. It is important to note, however, that being smart online post-break up is just one step to your recovery. No matter how much you quickly block, unfollow or un-tag, it truly is the eventual passing of time that will help you get over someone you once loved.
As seen on MEGA Magazine May 2018.