Nevertheless, loving someone is a choice.
Whether you’re the type of K-Drama fan who needs to see electric chemistry between the two main leads or you just want to see some lighthearted romance after a long work week, then Nevertheless should be for you. The series, which stars the dreamy Song Kang and gorgeous Han So Hee, is not your ordinary romantic K-Drama.
The drama highlights contemporary romance and doesn’t shy away in showing sensuality and its straightforward views on the “no-label” types of relationships. Every episode airs trends in different social media platforms, mainly because of the drama’s relatable theme.
The story revolves around Han So Hee’s character Yu Na-Bi who just got out of a toxic relationship. She is now cynical when it comes to love and vows to distance herself from getting romantically involved with anyone for the time being. Then she meets Song Kang’s character, Park Jae-Eon, aka the potential toxic guy in question. The two became close, despite the warnings of Na-Bi’s friends and with Jae-Eon showing all the signs of being non-committal—dubbed as someone who’s “nice to everybody” by their peers.
Because of that, Na-Bi’s life-decisions are always up for debate among fans. Some side with Na-Bi, and some, who are exceptionally strong in resisting temptation, don’t. A lot of people can relate to Na-Bi when it comes to attracting toxic men in he, choosing to ignore the signs of a toxic relationship.
According to dating psychologist Madeleine Mason Roantree, a red flag can be defined as “something your partner does that indicates a lack of respect, integrity or interest towards the relationship.”
If you’re one of those people who could relate to Na-Bi, then don’t be hard on yourself because there’s probably a scientific explanation behind it, and might help you assess yourself better. Here are the reasons why people ignore “red flags” in a relationship according to science.
Research, being in love makes your brain unable to accurately assess your partner, and prevents you from feeling negativity towards him or her. They’ve concluded that falling in love creates a brain chemistry that keeps us hooked on that person regardless of their bad behavior.
Chemically speaking, dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin, and norepinephrine light up in your brain when you’re in love giving a feeling of elation, excitement, and bliss, thus making people develop a very strong attachment to their partners.
Similar to addiction
Some researchers believe that this kind of love is a type of addiction. Some people attest that they do see the red flags when time has already passed, and that’s because the “in love” brain chemistry, like the elements of dopamine and norepinephrine, has already fizzled out after a year or two being in that toxic relationship.
However, the influence of the bonding chemicals, namely the oxytocin and vasopressin, may still apply even after for many, so it’s a possibility for someone’s brain to totally ignore red flags for life.
Psychologist, Susan Biali, M.D, explains the importance of awareness of the situation by listening to our intuition. “In the moment it’s not much fun to listen to your gut or consciously acknowledge the truth, especially if it means being deeply disappointed, losing a friend or circle of friends, or having to stop going in a direction that at first seemed wonderful and full of promise,” she says. “But the avoidance of future pain and the life-giving better choices that can be made instead, are truly worth celebrating.”
A red flag in a relationship varies from one person to another, same as the desires of each individuals that get in the way. Nevertheless, listening to your intuition right away, can help you totally avoid red-flagged situations.
As humans, it’s normal to be vulnerable as long as you don’t let people step on you. So, don’t beat yourself up for having those emotions. However, understanding why we choose to ignore red flags can be helpful in moving forward, so toxic patterns can be broken, too.