Sorry to break it to you, but your Asian fetish is not healthy. Stop saying these 7 remarks to the Asian woman you’re seeing. #StopAsianHate
Related: Dating And Sex In The Midst Of A Pandemic—Is It Okay And How?
As an Asian woman, I am so grateful for the many public figures and news outlets who have taken a stand to support the #StopAsianHate movement. Subliminal Asian hate is an ongoing problem that is often overlooked, because of the preconceived notion on how Asian women are supposed to act. It has created an underlying abhorrence towards Asian women that is masked by an intense desire to be with one. This is most evident when looking for love through the internet.
I’m not biased towards when looking for a partner, but since I am chronically single it has led me to go on a number of dates with non-Asians. More often than not, we would have a great first date. Although, there have been occurances when the Asian fetish shines ever so brightly. Here are the top seven comments my Asian girl friends and I hate hearing while on a date. Can we all agree on how annoying all seven are?
- “You’re so exotic.”
So, what do you mean by this? Are we a cuisine? A rare bird? A travel destination? Exotic… Let me think about that. Nope, still don’t get it. Doesn’t sound like a compliment to us. It sounds more like you’re defining me by my country of origin.
2. “You look submissive. I like it.”
Oh, honey. If only you knew how I’m really like. This comment stems up to not only dates, but also the workplace. Asian women who work in foreign countries are taken seriously, because they are perceived to be submissive– more of a follower rather than a leader.
3. “Wow! You have amazing English!”
The funny thing is your grammar might even be better than theirs. I get this a lot whenever I go on dates with non-Asian men or with whitewashed Asians who have lived in a different country for far too long. It get’s worse when you get the, “Oh! You sound like me. Where’s your Asian accent?”
4. “You’re more cute than beautiful.”
Seriously, when I heard this in real life I was thinking, “Why are you on a date with me then?” My firey personality couldn’t help, but ask him to explain. He told me that Asian women are generally cute, while Caucasians and Latinas are the beautiful ones. Honestly, I didn’t know how to process that.
5. “I wanna hear you speak Chinese.”
Hi, Sir. I’m Filipino. I don’t speak Mandarin or Cantonese. I could speak in Tagalog, but Chinese? You’re barking on the wrong race, my friend. Plus, Chinese isn’t even a language. Must be trivial to be monolingual.
6. “They might think I paid for you.”
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we get comments like this. Crazy, right? To note, I have nothing against sex workers, but somehow being Asian makes me an automatic sex worker candidate. By the way, I was wearing a black long sleeved turtleneck when my date said this to me. If that even matters.
7. “I’m sure you’re so sexually frustrated.”
Ah yes, ‘cause we Asian women are so sexually deprieved. Your date might even add that you haven’t had a real man, because Asian men are ugly. That was a verbatim account of a date I was once on. Was there a second date? Definitely, not.
